Your Ex Sliding Into Your D(rea)Ms? What It Means When You Dream About Someone
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You’re sipping gin with Ryan Renolds on a beach in Bali.
Or being stalked by a creepy dark figure while running in the park.
Or maybe you had a passionate encounter with your long-lost ex that made your eyeballs sweat.
It’s weird when we have dreams about someone, isn’t it?
Before you text your ex or dm Ryan Reynolds, taking your dream all too literally, slow your roll and take a minute to think about how your dream relates to you and your life — as a metaphor.
Newsflash — your dreams are about YOU, not the SOMEBODY.
Intrigued as to how to figure out what dreaming about someone means to you?
Here's what we'll tackle:
Your Dreams About Someone Are Really About You
What Makes You Dream About Someone?
10 Types of Common Dreams About Someone Else
How To Interpret Your Dreams About Someone
Your Dreams About Someone Are Really About You
Ever woken up and wondered why the heck you dreamed about someone?
Remember, dreams are symbolic. So, whoever shows up in your dream is less about them and more about what’s going on with you.
When you treat each of your dreams as part of the story of you, woven with all kinds of extraordinary insight into who you are and how you REALLY feel, you begin to unlock your secret superpower of self-awareness.
Welcome those dreams about someone as an opportunity to dig a little deeper into what’s going on in your life.
What Makes You Dream About Someone?
Dreaming about someone is just another creative way for your subconscious to send you messages. Those messages can be brought to you in a sundry of stories with a plethora of characters.
There are a couple of options as to why you might dream about someone:
The person in your dream is more about the quality or characteristics that person symbolizes to you and less about the actual person popping into your dream.
Here’s an example, when you dream about your beloved deceased aunt stopping by for a visit, it might be about her tenderness. Are you craving more tenderness in your life or environment at the moment? Or potentially you feel like you want/need to express more tenderness toward others.
That person you’re dreaming about could also represent something you’re grappling with in your life.
For example, you dream about your oppressive boss who’s sucking the life out of you at work. Now, maybe it really is your boss who’s being oppressive. On the other hand, it could be that you’re experiencing a different form of oppression from another person who represents authority (that’s if you see your boss as an authority figure).
Think of each of your dreams like a movie conceived and directed by you, starring you, and you’re the sole audience.
And like any good movie plot, the message is hidden between the lines and woven into the action.
Other characters in your dream are there to serve you the underlying message of the dream, the “moral of the story” so to speak. That’s how those characters help you grasp where you’re at emotionally, or what you may need to resolve a challenging patch.
A study of hundreds of dream reports found:
48% of characters represented a named person known to the dreamer.
35% of characters were identified by their job or social role (a policeman), or relationship to the dreamer (your bestie).
16% were not recognized.
Among the named characters:
32% were identified by appearance.
21% were identified by behavior.
45% were identified by face.
44% were identified by “just knowing them somehow.”
10 Types of Common Dreams About Someone Else
Most people dream about other people every night. Let’s go over some of the most common types of dreams you might have about someone else and how to get to the root of what those dreams mean.
1. What does it mean when you dream of someone other than your partner?
Have you ever had a steamy dream about someone other than your partner, only to wake up wide-eyed and guilt-ridden?
First of all, relax. That doesn’t count as cheating or even mean that you want to cheat.
Sex is a bonding experience.
So, if you have a sexual dream about someone, it’s often about wanting to bond with a quality they possess (rather than bond with their body). For example, you might have a sexy dream about someone at work who “has it together” like you wish you did (they just flow through workplace logistics and make life seem easy).
Sex is also about power dynamics.
So ask yourself these questions about your McSteamy dream:
What sexual positions were in your dream?
Who was “on top”?
Who was controlling the situation, and how did you feel about it? (Guilty? Excited? Relieved? Scared?)
2. What does it mean when you dream about your partner cheating on you?
Ok, we’ve all had 1 of these, and it doesn’t permit you to launch a super-secret stalking mission.
When you have a cheated-on-dream, it’s most important to think about your FEELINGS from this dream. What’s the scenario in the dream, and how does it make you feel?
Do you feel deserted and lonely, or mad as hell?
WHY do you feel the way you do about the dream?
Our brains tend to go big or go home with our dreams — if you have a tiff or some unresolved conflict, your dream could be an all-out “War of the Roses.”
The high intensity of dreams has more to do with your unresolved conflicts and less about being an actual war with your partner.
3. What does it mean when you dream about your ex?
You broke up over a year ago, and yet, you dreamed about him last night!
Whaaat?
Even if you’re “over” your ex, healing takes time, and bits may still come out in your dreams as you progress towards healing those wounds.
If you have unresolved feelings about this relationship, those may get triggered as you start another relationship.
And that’s a good thing!
Because that signifies you’re learning from the past and bringing that knowledge and intuition into your present to support you on this new personal journey with someone else.
Wondering how to stop dreaming about your ex?
What a loaded question without a cut-and-dried answer — healing just doesn’t happen in a straight line.
Bt-dubs, the more meaningful the bond was, and the longer it takes you to acknowledge and accept those hurt feelings fully, the longer your dreams will continue to try and awaken you with images involving your ex.
However, the more you come to grips with your emotions (in your dreams and waking life), the less need there is to work out that hurt in your dreams.
4. What does it mean to dream of someone asking you out?
Have you dreamed of someone unexpected asking you out? You may have a desire to be seen and acknowledged by someone who possesses such qualities as they represent to you.
Because, if you associate, say “adventurous” with this person, that’s YOU wanting adventure so make a point to acknowledge that it belongs in your life.
If they embody kindness and generosity — you may need to go on a date with your own kindness and generosity.
Or, you may just have a lil crush!
5. What does it mean when you dream about someone you hardly know?
Science shows that if you dream of someone, you’ve seen them before — in real life or on tv. This is because our brain doesn’t create faces. Instead, it pulls the faces you see in your dreams from your waking life.
You may have brushed past the person on the street or seen them on a TV show you only watched once.
Even if you don’t remember, your brain does.
So, instead of spending brainpower trying to nail down who the mysterious dream person is, ask yourself what quality the person represents and how that quality might relate to your life.
Also, examine what happens in the dream and the interaction with the person. To get you started, ask yourself questions like these:
Where are you?
What does the space, the environment feel like?
Is it daytime or nighttime?
What is the person who’s in the dream with you like?
If they were a Reality TV Star, who would they be?
Do they have an ominous presence?
How do they make you feel?
Are they your fantasy mate personified?
Once you recall your dream’s details, now you’re cooking.
Linger an extra minute in bed and wander over those details with an open mind and a nonjudgemental attitude. Think about the person in your dream and how that person might relate to you and your life.
6. What does it mean when you dream about someone all of the time?
It’s important to remember that any recurring dream is a message you’re missing — that’s why you keep having the same dream, or the same person keeps appearing in your dream.
Now, your dream could actually be about that person if you know them.
Maybe you need to pay more attention to this person in your life. Your subconscious might be pointing you towards them because your conscious mind was too busy to acknowledge it.
That’s important to explore. However, if you don’t come up with anything about the person, it’s time to refocus on Y.O.U.
Put your thinking cap on here.
What quality does the person display in the dream that you may be craving?
Do you regularly dream of a colleague that crushes each presentation she does and owns every room she enters? Maybe you’re drawn to her confidence and want more of that in your own life.
7. What does it mean when you dream about someone you just started dating?
Dreams can play out a “what if?” scenario because it’s a dry run for life:
What if I developed a long-term relationship with this person?
What would our life be like?
Would we have a dog or a cat?
Would we be happy?
Your mind draws conclusions based on what little you know about this person.
Most likely, you’re endowing them with qualities you either want to avoid or embrace. Think of it like this, your dreams are your wingman/woman, your Jiminy Cricket, your inner voice steering you towards what you need and away from what/whom may sabotage your happiness.
Most of us possess much more intuition than we realize.
When you start asking your mind the right questions, your inner intuition rises to deliver an answer.
Often, your dreams hide the answer, so if you don’t want to leave this to chance, try incubating the answer in your dreams.
8. What if I see a dark stranger in my dream?
Dark strangers often represent the dark side of you. A dark side isn’t necessarily evil, it’s more like the unknown or inactive part of you. Shadowy, dark figures in your dreams can mean your subconscious is bringing up a version of you that’s been suppressed or dormant.
Carl Jung was the founding father of analytical psychology and one of the most significant contributors to our understanding of dreams and the human psyche. He coined the term “the shadow self” to describe the unconscious parts of your personality that your conscious self doesn’t want to identify with.
You’re probably not aware of your shadow self — think of it as an invisible cape you’ve always worn but never noticed.
Exploring your shadow can lead to more authenticity, creativity, and self-awareness, so don’t be afraid of it.
9. What does it mean when you meet someone in your dreams?
In your dream, you’re casually grabbing a chai tea on the way home from the gym. You happen to strike up a conversation with the woman behind you in line, and you hit it off.
It’s like you’ve known each other for years!
You wake up wondering who that fabulous person was and what was that dream about?
Think about the context of the dream and how it relates to your life. Ask yourself questions to help you think through the meaning of the dream:
Could it be about joining forces with someone?
Teaming up with someone for a cool project or a new business?
Maybe being on the same page with someone? (Who in your life do you need to get on the same page with?)
10. What does it mean to dream about a celebrity?
Ever had a dream where Jennifer Anniston is your bestie? Or grocery shopping with Bradly Cooper? You’re not alone — celebrities showing up in dreams is nothing new.
Again, the characters in your dreams, yes, even mega-celebrities, are there to serve you. Your dreams, and the people in them, are messages meant for you. So ask yourself about your interaction with your dreamy celebrity and how it made you feel.
That’s where you’ll find your dream meaning.
How To Interpret Your Dreams About Someone
There’s no way around this — interpreting your dreams about someone begins and ends with you, not them.
Ask yourself good questions about how the person in your dream sheds light on your waking life. When you approach your dream work with a nonjudgemental attitude, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of the meanings of your dreams.
And the more understanding you glean from your dreams, the more self-aware you become. True self-awareness empowers you and impacts your life.
Your dream may be a message for you about a quality you’re lacking or an undesirable situation you’d like to distance yourself from.
As you think about your dream with “another someone” in it, pay close attention to the dream details.
After you establish the “who-what-when-where” of your dream, dig deeper with these questions:
What qualities of the person in your dream would you want more of in your life? (determination, creativity, thoughtfulness, focus…)
And do you want those qualities to be shown toward you? (more kindness, more attention, more understanding…)
Or do you want those qualities as part of your own personality? (more tenderness toward others, more confidence, more focus)
Is there some aspect of your waking environment that’s present in your dream? (stress, mistrust, micro-management, a draw on your time…)
Track and interpret your dreams
When analyzing your dreams, ditch the dream dictionary. Your dreams are personal, so your dream work should be personalized as well.
There are a few steps to help you track and interpret your dreams.
Set an intention to remember your dreams — Repeat “I will remember my dreams” before you go to sleep. You’ve got to be able to recall your dreams before you can interpret them.
Wake up slowly and think about your dreams — This is best done during the hypnopompic state. That’s the 3-5 minutes of consciousness just as you wake up. Remember, be intentional about keeping your thoughts nonjudgemental during this time.
Record your dreams in a journal or app — Record everything you can remember about your dreams in a journal or use an app on your phone. Wakefully is an app that not only lets you record your dreams, but an AI dream coach also guides you in interpreting them as well! A dream interpreter in your pocket? Yes, please.
Notice patterns — As you regularly record your dreams, you’ll notice patterns. These patterns are powerful because your subconscious is repeatedly sending you the same message over and over.
78% of Wakefully users find that the AI dream analysis highly resonates with them (giving 4-5 out of 5 stars) and 76% feel they gained some new perspective or insight about an existing struggle or challenge in their lives.
We don’t have to be victims of our dreams — we can choose to live and dream with intention. You can even rescript your dreams to empower you and rewrite your story.
Dreaming Of Someone Else Means You Need To Dig Deeper
When you dream of someone, it’s time to grab your metaphorical shovel. Those “somebodies” in your dreams are there to serve you.
So rather than waking from a dream about a shadowy person lurking around you and chalking it up to watching the movie “Ghost” before bed, dig deeper into what your subconscious is telling you.
Wakefully is all about helping you dig deeper into your story. It’s kind of their thing.
